Soccer Practice & the Stem Situation
Today’s shakedown run took the Rat Rod Side-by-Side to soccer practice — the perfect proving ground for anything with questionable steering geometry and a touch of the apocalypse. Between the slow parade of SUVs and minivans, our beast rolled in like a Mad Max float crashing a suburban birthday party.
The Stem That Cried Uncle
One thing became instantly clear: those ape hangers have leverage.
A lot of leverage. The old single-bolt stem was crying harder than a rec league goalie after a bad call. It’s not cutting it. We’re looking at possible replacements — maybe a GT Mallet knockoff (pour one out for GT, may their next resurrection actually stick).
The Mallet style has that old-school BMX feel solid, chunky, ready to hold bars without stressing them into spaghetti. We’re not about to start freestyling this thing, so “good enough” might actually be good enough.
A Parcel from the Wheel Gods (or China)
Got a package today. Much love to Lehi Bike Barn for their wheel work, but I’m feeling the itch for a little upgrade. Not a BMX Dad “gold hubs on a $200 complete” kind of upgrade — more like something practical…ish.
I flirted with the idea of a Profile hub compatible with the ACS Southpaw freewheel. But by the time you drop $250–$300 on the hub, you start convincing yourself it “deserves” the top-tier spokes, nipples, and a rim that doesn’t pretend it’s straight. And suddenly you’re $1,000 deep into wheels for a project that’s supposed to look like it was welded together by drunk raccoons.
Instead?
I snagged a Transformparts rear hub: double-threaded but not flip-flop, LHD, Southpaw-compatible. $40 direct from China. Got here faster than anything shipped from Florida. That’s global logistics magic — or maybe Florida just ships everything by donkey.
And yes — tariffs. Because apparently the only way to make “domestic” feel like value is to raise import prices until daylight robbery and “Made in USA” are the same number.
The wheels will be built by the Lehi Bike Barn, Loyalty Matters
Next Steps: Name That Beast
Once the rear gets its moderate wheel upgrade, it’ll roll like royalty. Which means it’s time for a name. I’m leaning toward:
• The Chariot of Death – Fits Ozzy. Ozzt was a Grimsby and Cleethorpes Legend. Crazier than the Birmingham one. Known internationally especially in Utah.
• Twin Coffins on Wheels – Too honest?
• Apocalypse Minivan – More relatable for the soccer crowd.
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If Part 3 is this unhinged, imagine what Part 43 will look like